Conspermification

Operation: Clean Sweep (Appendix A-1 of Ducks, Unicorns and Elven Beermaids in a Foggy Fairy Tale Castle)

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Just when you thought that post was over. The LONGEST POST CARRIES ON GOING.

I previously mentioned that we had two missions, 1) to steal Oktoberfest Beermugs for everyone and 2) to get Oktoboobies.

How were these mission accomplished? One might wonder. Rack your brain no more my faithful reader as all will be revealed!

After joining up with Joe and Huiss, we headed to the tent and in truth, Mission 1 had already commenced then. We went in once and tried to bring out the Mugs so as to be able to ascertain the security countermeasures employed by the tents. Each tent had 2-3 exits and each exit was covered by 2-3 security guards who would tap down the bags of people leaving to make sure they weren't carrying any mugs with them. Ingenious.

Unfortunately they were unable to outwit Ambrose (Black Fox) and I (Brown Bear) [Private Joke here, sorry]. We came up with 3 plans to secure our package.

Plan A
We would have two teams. Team A would act drunk and try and distract the guards by going up to their faces and going BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH! (Much like the drunk guy at the train station)

Plan B
A variation of Plan A. Team A would intentionally get caught while Team B would escape whilst the members in Team A were being apprehended by Security.

Plan C
We would all act drunk and try our luck.

We went with Plan C. Deliciously devious.

And so Ambrose and I (Joe was also involved in the operation but he was quite a peripheral character as he achieved nothing) acted drunk and started singing while hiding the mugs under our jacket. The hope was that we would look so wasted that we most certainly couldn't be in the right mental capacity to exact pilferage.

Security was not fooled. Obviously having seen this before he stepped in front of us and said, "Ja ja ja ja ja." Translated into English this means, "Ya ya ya ya ya." With a look that said, Yea.. right. As if I'm that stupid. He promptly relieved us of our Mugs. Sadly he was THAT stupid. While he did in fact repossess Ambrose's mug as well as mine, he did not count on my hands holding TWO MUGS! FISTS OF GLORY grasped around the first mug acquired in Operation: Clean Sweep and we cheered and celebrated our first of many victories.

We would continue the operation the next morning when, hopefully, the security would slacken. And when the next morning came, slacken they did. Whittled down to a mere guard or two covering each exit. Our job became that much easier. So after drinking our beers, we attempted to hide the mug in Joe's camera bag. This turned out to work really well and we were able to pull off the heist without a hitch. The moment we walked out of the tent however, Joe excited turned around and slapped the camera bag and screamed, "We DID IT DUDES!!!" However, Joe with a painfully low awareness of his surroundings chose to do this right in front of Security. Luckily the guard was distracted by Oktoboobies and did not notice Joe's act of idiocy. (I guess Joe wasn't peripheral. I might go so far as to say that he was a burden.)

With our technique polished, we quickly stole enough mugs for everyone. In one of the Mug runs however, I caught sight of a nice pair of Oktoboobies. What are Oktoboobies? Oktoboobies are no normal boobies. They are the boobies of the Bavarian beermaids and the traditional clothing of Bavaria REQUIRES and are thus designed in a way such that the boobies WILL overflow. While these weren't the biggest around, (there were some extremely HUGE ones) but she was the barmaid with the most free time and so I approached her for a photo. Plus she looked pretty decent. There were some barmaid that seemed to have Oktoboobies that were huge as a safety measure to prevent you from looking at their face.

Sie hat Holz vor der Hütte! Or in English, She has BIG BOOBIES! (Or literally she has wood for the hut!)

And thus both missions were complete. Operation: Clean Sweep. Mission Successful.

Things on my mind:
Boobies
Oktoboobies
International Multicultural Boobies
Chicken Breasts
Gerger

Sprouting Nonsense Since 1984 {5:17 am}