Happy Anniversary... Again

Wednesday, January 31, 2007
One more year till the itch sets in. Nuff` said.


Sprouting Nonsense Since 1984 {6:45 pm}


His fault not mine

Thursday, January 25, 2007
An interesting pattern of human behavior was brought up in my MPW class by my Professor (MPW being the acronym for Managing People at Work.) I can’t remember the exact terms used but simplified, this is basically the underlying principle. In general, we generally identify two factors to be cause of a fault, the two factors being situation and character. We tend to associate our own faults with situational causation but character causation with the faults of others.

I elaborate. When your friend is late, the most common reaction would be “Oh, so-and-so is always late. He/she has no concept of time and can be bothered to be punctual.” The attribution you make to the person as the cause of the fault is his character. However if the person who is late is yourself, the justification is most commonly “Oh the bus was late. There was a traffic jam.” So on and so forth. Evidently, it is never a fault of your character whenever you are late but rather the situation, one that is out of your control, is the reason why you are late. Simply put you make excuses for yourself to preserve the integrity of your character but don’t bother to do that for others.

This is obviously a flawed study for it is never my fault when I am late and I never make excuses to preserve the integrity of my character. My character is bright, shiny and pristine. I was in fact late for that particular lesson and the reason I was late, as it invariably is for any situation in which I was late, it was circumstances out of my control that led me to be late. What happened was that while I did miss my train by about 20 seconds, I was still early and had boarded the next train at 3pm. Since traveling to City Hall from Bedok takes an average of 20mins and walking time is about 7mins, I would still be on time. A minute later however, the train refused to move and an irritating voice belonging to a shrill control station woman came on the PA system telling us to seek an alternative transport and that the train services would be held up indefinitely.

So it turns out, the train I missed would go two stations west and hit a man at Eunos MRT station. Reports indicate that it was not a suicide but bystanders could not explain what happened. Most likely he stood beyond the yellow line and was clipped by the train. (That will teach all of you to listen to the damn warnings) The man, a newly wed was thrown forward and landed on the track when the train literally knocked his shoes off. A picture taken on site showed his shoes some 10-12m apart. Amazing the man escaped death and as far as I know is now recovering in the hospital.

As you can see the reason why I was late was obviously circumstantial and beyond my control, however the reason why the man was hit was most probably because he was careless and/or reckless and did not bother to heed clear instructions, a fault with his character.

Things on my mind:
Pirates!
Reluctance to begin studying
John Lim (Watch out for my next post)
Boobs


Sprouting Nonsense Since 1984 {1:49 pm}


Closest Shave... Gillette

Friday, January 19, 2007
Today I experienced the closest shave of 2007 thus far.

It all began with me stalking and hunting an bowl of mutton curry in the Interchange today. After slurping down the last of the spicy curry that left me dripping with princely amounts of perspiration, I removed my red frames of Mojo off of my face to wipe away the salty moisture that still hung to my skin. Putting my glasses back on, I rolled my sleeve back down and left the hawker with my bag in tow. A quick check of time showed 1134am; this would mean I had just enough time to reach class punctually.

Weaving gracefully through the human traffic (Yes, I have it on good account that I was indeed weaving gracefully, several bystanders corroborated this testimony and all agreed I was weaving in the manner as depicted in this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ioMP2OX52eE), I arrived at the steps of the underpass that would lead me to my vehicular transport, the train. I pulled out my mobile from my pocket to once again check the time. It was at this point I realised something of great import. My right hand carried my undeniably stylish phone and my left, the handphone cover. My brows tightened and it dawned upon me, none of my hands were carrying my laptop.

I sprung around and set out on a mad dash. Where did I last see my laptop? My mind set about the task of searching my memory banks for the precise moment my laptop left my field of vision. At the same time, a message was sent down my spine past the region of my groin (the location where most of my blood most regularly resides and home to my more powerful brain) telling my feet that it was code red and this was not a drill. The search identified the last known location of visual confirmation of Laptop status was at the hawker. Some hundred thieving bastards still sat within alarming proximity to my laptop. At this point, rationale thinking broke ranks and a primal need to protect that which was mine took over.

No longer inhibited by logical thought and common sense, I moved faster and more agile than I had ever moved. As I darted past the human traffic, I moved unerringly towards the hawker. At one point I ran so quickly I was leaving flames in my wake. It was at this point when I noticed, much too late, that there was a crippled begging on the floor; prone at that height, he was out of my optic field and there was no way I could have seen him until the point when I saw him. At the speed I was at at that point, there was no way I could have stopped in time. A mere moment before I would crash onto him, I leaped. Over him I sailed and it would have almost been perfect if it weren't for the fact that I was so fast that there were flames in my wake. Before I could even land, the poor man caught on fire; the fabric of his tattered clothes ignited by the licking yellow flames leaping off of my feet. I did not hear him scream though, for in just another mere moment, I was already out of earshot.

You will be pleased and relieved to hear that I was able to successful secure and extract my laptop. Looking behind me, I was horrified by the burning inferno I had caused. As a result of leaving my laptop behind and the time it took me to put out all the flames, I was late for class. Clearly not my fault and a close shave, if I say so myself.

Things on my mind:
Fire
Boobs
Globes of Fire!


Sprouting Nonsense Since 1984 {12:41 am}


If at first you don't succeed...

Wednesday, January 10, 2007
For those of you who don’t know, CIT is SMU technical support department. In reality, they are incompetent morons who do not do anything right. Thus, in an unprecedented turn of events, my Bingo Book for SMUtards will feature, for the first time, a non-student.

The latest addition to the workforce of CIT is a particular dim young lad of 24. He is fresh out of army from which he enlisted late as a result of completing his education at Ngee Ann Polytechnic. Allow me to describe his physical attributes so as to enable you, my esteemed reader, to identify the man in question. The man is pale and skinny, and this along with his constantly slouched shoulders, contribute to a very slight frame. A largely unremarkable face sits upon his similarly unimpressive physique. His complexion is neither flawless nor is it unacceptable by societal standards (though it does tend to lean toward the latter.) The most distinguishable of his features include his hair, which he uses as a multi-purpose tool to sport a look that is by most standards, out-of-fashion, and to carry princely amounts of grease and oil. Noticeable also is his glasses which is a black plastic frame, probably remnant from his National Service stint. (Though I must clarify that there is nothing wrong with black plastic frames; it just so happens that he’s the only man in CIT to wear such frames and is thus most easily identified in this manner. Plus, black plastic frames is infinitely inferior to my funky red spectacles from which I draw upon my mojo)

Let all be warn that this man is highly incompetent and will likely do your laptop more harm than good. He is to be avoided at all costs and if he tries to tinker with your computer, DO NOT hesitate to reject him for any concession on your part will likely only reward yourself with frustration, anger and most likely a great big waste of your time. The next section will detail some of the errors perpetrated by this, clearly intellectually challenged individual. Be forewarned that it might get a bit technical if you are a computer illiterate, but take comfort in the knowledge that I am a genius and know what I am talking about and that this baboon is a moron.

First of all, I had to configure my laptop to log into the school domain and to do that, you’d have to go to the ‘My Computer’ properties and select the domain option there. However the checkbox to check that option was grayed out. So what was a computer technician to do? Why repeatedly click on the grayed out box then. I mean that made perfect sense! If you clicked on the grayed out box quickly or often enough, it would possibly, nay probably right itself and become selectable again! Gosh I can really tell that 3 years of education in Ngee Ann really paid itself off. Personally I wouldn’t have been able to do that without formal computer training. And no, he doesn’t do it once, nor twice nor even thrice. He just kept fiddling around with my computer and went back to that screen every few minutes to rapidly click on the grayed out box… again!

Basically he went on for like an hour not doing anything before he consulted one of the older staff who promptly figured out the problem in 5 minutes. Thanks moron, for wasting my afternoon. Think that’s the end? Think again. So finally after formatting my laptop, half my hardware was missing their drivers and couldn’t function. This includes my Ethernet card and my Network card driver and this basically means I could not connect to the internet. So Mr. I-have-thumbtacks-for-brains figures that you know, I’m missing drivers, let’s look for it on the Internet. Rrrrrrrr-right. Hello? Einstien? My drivers are missing. How do you use the Internet to search for the drivers if I need drivers to allow my laptop to access the Internet? With the obvious plainly lost on him, he proceeds to command my computer to search the Internet for suitable drivers for my network card. Oddly enough the entire process fails. So he proceeds to command my computer to search the Internet for suitable drivers for my Ethernet card which for reasons unexplainable to man, fails again. So he decides to command my computer for one last time, to search the Internet for suitable drivers for my network card yet again. His head is so dense that light slows to a near crawl when traveling in and out of his ears. Perhaps he takes great heed to age old adage of “If at first you don’t succeed, try and try again," except that in this case Failure is a barren woman who will never mother anything, least of all success.

You’d think that the story ends here and that it was an isolated incident. Nay meinen freund. For my friend, Joshua, karma caught up with his yesterday and his CIT helper was the above mentioned. Long story short, Joshua ended up having to reformat his computer and when I asked him to describe the problem to me, I realized it was painfully simple and I could have fixed it in 2 minutes. Yet another victim of the CIT moron. Sigh*

Things on my mind:
Stupidity and how it manifests itself in so many ways
Boobs


Sprouting Nonsense Since 1984 {3:20 am}


The Real Me
Vincent Fu
aka Jishbac

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