Happy Birthday to Meeeee
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Actually today is Mr Kahkheng's Bir-day. So I shall wish him a Happy Bir-Day first. Happy Bir-Day Mr Kahkheng!
Now that we've gotten the pesky bir-day greeting of the unimportant people over and done with, let us focus on the main event: the stunning milestone of human history - My Birthday. (Note how since I'm more important, my Birthday is actually spelt properly as opposed to unimportant Bir-days.)
18 August 1941 - Adolf Hitler orders a temporary halt to Nazi Germany's systematic euthanasia of mentally ill and handicapped people.
This in turn led to the birth of myself on the same day in 1984. Likewise there are two people around me who also share this day of birth - though the chain of events leading to their overshadowed entry into this world remains to be a subject of little import. However for posterities sake I shall assign them insignificant generic names which are in no way indicative of their physical appearance or attitudal characteristic. They are Hairy Yang and Attitude Tay. At this point I would like to wish these two gentlemen a happy bir-day.
Unfortunately this year I will not be celebrating in Singapore during my Birthday. Instead I will be heading to Genting. While my girlfriend will tell you that it is to celebrate my glorious arrival upon this green Earth away from the tedium that is Singapore. The truth is I'm escaping from the cruel reality of life and the bitter truth of my frail friendships. You see, if I stay in Singapore, I will be forced to come to terms with how no one will remember my birthday.
I remember back in Secondary School - more innocent times for a far more innocent boy. My innocence was cruelly snatched away from me like an owl snatching up caramel coated chocolate baked mice in a field of cocoa rice crispies. All I wanted for birthday that year was for her to wish me a happy birthday. That's all I wished for during the weeks leading up to that fateful day. During recess I thought I had my dream come true when I heard a familiar voice shout, "Happy Birthday -" I turned around in joy and excitement... "Hairy Yang!" and I saw the naked truth. They were celebrating Hairy Yang's birthday. They gave him a bra for his birthday present. That bra was supposed to be MINE! I like boobs! I like things around BOOBS! Why wasn't that bra given to me!
Sorry... repressed childhood memories.
Likewise, this year my day of happiness is threatened by one called Attitude Tay who has already pre-empted me and invited all my University friends to his Bir-Day party. And so to avoid terrible and utter defeat in a popularity contest I am doomed to lose, I shall leave this country. Why am I certain of my defeat? Oh, because I don't have a birthday party. Can't very well invite people to a party that is non-existent right? So I lose this round Attitude Tay. But rest assured that you will suffer a terrible humiliation next year when you celebrate your birthday all alone. I hereby invite all of SMU to my birthday party next year on the 18th of August one year in frickin` advance!!! ALL EXCEPT ATTITUDE TAY! MUAHAHAHAH
Serious.
And so I bid you all farewell and I'll see everyone on Monday. Wish me luck at the tables.
Things on my mind:
3 card poker
Diarrhea
Boobs
Freshie Boobs!!
Sprouting Nonsense Since 1984 {7:00 pm}
