A Face Only A Mother Could Love
Monday, December 11, 2006
At long last, Year 2 Sem 1 is finally over. This semester is actually the very first semester taking 5 credit modules (previous 2 sems only had me doing 4 credit modules) and it is consequently quite a bit more hectic than previous semesters. Now whenever I complain that "this sem is busier than my other sems" people will often remark that it just feels that way and that in reality its probably no busier than any other sem. Well these people are obviously stupid. Anyway, my excuse for not blogging for an entire month would be because I was too busy with school to find the time.
I really enjoyed myself this semester though. Met quite a lot of new people.. nice people at that. Most of my project groupmates weren't retards either. Some were but there are retards everywhere so you can't control that. This semester I met 3 retards. Their names are Joshua, Wenjie and Terence. Kidding. I'd rather not print their real names. You could however, apply to join the SMUtards and upon initiation into the organization, you will gain access to the Bingo Book. The Bingo Book has the names of retards encountered by members of the SMUtards during the course of the members' academic endeavours. The purpose of the Bingo Book is to allow owners of the Bingo Book to quickly identify retards in advance and thus take evasive measures when forming their new groups. This organization currently has two members Terence and me and we are, of course, the founding members. TK = 1st Hokage. Me = 2nd Hokage. Please contact me if you are interested in applying because I am the recruitment officer.
The marginal retard-friend ratio this semester is surprisingly healthy. While number of retards encountered increased by 50% from the previous semester, the growth in the number of friends out performed the retard index by several points. I am proud to announce that Yulun, Toto, Debs, Jason, Elisa, Huizhen, Aihui, Melvyn, Mok and Zhuo are people that performed well enough to qualify for Friend status. Congratulations to all names mentioned above. Members of the elite reading week mug club will be given military accolations. Commodore Joshua, Brigadier General Terence, CPL Wenjie and Cookhouse Auntie Qihui will be given the Distinguished Cross. 2LT Yulun will be charged with AWOL for leaving the group mid-week to hump girls.
Anyway back to my heavy workload. There was one module in particular that sucked up most of my time and that is CAT. So anyway we've pretty much completed the project and we've at last reached the final consultation with the Prof where he would give us his comments on what we've done. Yes this is the psychotic Professor Kam Tin Siong. I am proud to announce that I reached the word cap in my comments for him in my end of semester evaluation. So anyway, all though out the consultation, the Prof mainly focused at one person and pretty much only addressed him. I suppose that the reason behind this is that the Prof judged that this person probably did most of the work. Now this normally would not be a problem but in this case, the person who he deemed to have done the most work was actually the person who did the LEAST. By least I actually mean next to nothing. And by next to nothing I actually mean I'm truly and eternally grateful that this person didn't end up creating more work for me. The name of this person is inside the Bingo Book by the way. We did conclude that this person did have a "zai" looking face though. So perhaps that would explain why a dark cloud had been pulled over the Prof's eyes diverting his gaze towards the retard instead of me.
This however, really sparked off something and I started to reflect. Why did the Prof not address me during his consultation? I was clearly the genius surrounded by peon-like group members. If the hypothesis that the retard has a "zai" face and thus leading to the misdirected attention of the Prof holds true, then it also stands that I must not look "zai." Thinking back on Year 1 Sem 2, my BGS Prof too implied that I was riding the coattails of my group. Looking further back into my JC, my Econs and Physics tutor told me that I cannot make it and that I would probably retake my 2nd year respectively. In light of all this historical evidence, I have begun to doubt my initial assumption that I look exceptionally good-looking.
Imagine my distress. To assuage my fears, I decided to gather data that was more recent and thus more relevant. I asked Melvyn if I look hostile or friendly and he burst out laughing asking me if I was joking. I assume that he meant that I look very friendly. Next I asked Yulun, what was his first impression of me? To my complete surprise he said I looked cheesy and that Wenjie in contrast, looks very "zai." Could it be? Could I look like a moron/retard? My world obviously came crashing down. The very foundation of my reality was being torn asunder. Was my assumption that I looked red-freaking hawt flawed? It took me a week of introspection and during the 7th day, when I was resting on a giant lotus underneath an apple tree and an apple fell on my head I realised: looking friggin sexy and looking zai were mutually exclusive. So while I now concede that I look very beh zai, I still look pretty damn handsome. Perhaps my stunning good looks work against me because no one will believe that a man with as such an angelic visage as I would be as intelligent as well. Sigh* yet another burden I must carry with me for the rest of my life.
Things on my mind:
Maximizing Holiday Fun
Chiam Tao Grades
Chiam Tao Boobs
Sprouting Nonsense Since 1984 {12:29 am}
